Creating the Wedding You Want: A Guide for Newly Engaged Couples

Getting Started on Your Wedding Planning?

This can feel daunting. For most couples, this is their first wedding, and knowing how to plan for the wedding you want can feel like a challenge. So this is not a step-by-step checklist, but rather a guide on how to begin building the vision that feels right for the two of you.

Why Take Advice From a Wedding Photographer?

It is always an honor to step into the engagement season with couples and witness the first decisions that shape their wedding day. It can also be the moment when outside voices start to feel louder than expected. You may be feeling expectations and past traditions being placed on you for your day.

After two decades of photographing weddings throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, Wine Country, and Napa wedding venues, I have learned that the most meaningful celebrations come from intentional choices. Not perfect choices. Not choices shaped by pressure or tradition for the sake of tradition. Simple choices that feel true to the couple at the center of the day. Those are the moments I love to capture and preserve!

Start With What Matters to You

A thoughtful wedding begins with clarity about what feels authentic. Ask yourselves what experiences and values have shaped your lives. Perhaps it is a shared love of travel or the outdoors. Perhaps it is the blending of cultural backgrounds or the desire to include friends who feel like family. Perhaps it is the simple wish to spend real time with your guests rather than feeling swept along by a rigid schedule. Are you both foodies and want to emphasize an amazing culinary experience for your guests? Or maybe you can’t wait to have a big celebration and dance the night away with your favorite people.

These conversations guide the planning process more effectively than any checklist. They reveal what should stay, what can be simplified, and what can be let go entirely. Whether your celebration takes place at San Francisco City Hall, at a Napa Valley winery, or in a natural setting like Muir Woods in Marin, a shared clarity shapes every decision that follows in your wedding planning process.

Let Tradition Be Personal, Not Prescriptive

A recent blog I shared was focused on The Stories We Carry: A Guide to Meaningful Wedding Traditions. The heart of that piece still applies here. Traditions hold meaning because they reflect identity and history, but they are not rules you are required to follow. They should fit comfortably into your day rather than define it.

I often work with couples who blend cultural traditions, honor their families in subtle ways, or create new traditions that feel more aligned with their values. Many of them are independent decision makers, confident in choosing what serves their relationship. They appreciate history yet are comfortable shaping it to reflect their future. When traditions feel chosen rather than inherited, couples relax. They show emotion freely. Their humor surfaces. Their photographs look like their day, not a performance of someone else’s expectations. This is the key to both enjoying your wedding weekend and getting great photographs!

Keep the Day Centered on Experience

Weddings become most memorable when couples prioritize connection. Time with friends who feel like family. Space to be present with each other. Settings that feel natural, whether that means exchanging vows outdoors, celebrating in a place tied to family history, or choosing a venue with a strong sense of character. This is true whether your celebration is at a Wine Country wedding venue, a classic San Francisco wedding venue on a hill with a view, or a hidden garden in the Bay Area.

Many of my clients love the candid moments that happen when they feel comfortable and unhurried. They want photographs that reflect the investment they made in their day and the relationships that matter most. They value trust, which allows me to guide gently when needed, help them feel at ease in front of the camera, and document their celebration without forcing moments. When a couple is grounded in their choices, the emotions that arise are genuine and unguarded. And surprise, it is those moments that also make the best photographs!

Choose Vendors Who Support Your Vision
Your vendor team shapes the tone of your day. Choose people who listen closely, respect your priorities, and offer guidance without steering you away from what matters. The couples I connect with most deeply share similar characteristics. They value relationships and clear communication. They love a good story and appreciate the history behind the places that have meaning to them. They often enjoy travel and adventure. They love both film and black and white photography. They also might have a furry family member that they want to include in their wedding day. They want images that look and feel like their day. They trust the process, want their guests to feel cared for, and welcome guidance that helps them stay present throughout the day.

This is true whether they are planning a ceremony in Sonoma or a celebration at one of the many Northern California wedding venues that prioritize natural beauty and space for connection. When there is alignment, planning feels lighter. The wedding day feels calmer. The photographs come to life with authenticity because the couple is supported rather than managed. Your vendors are a team rallying behind you to create the vision of your day and support you. Once you have your venue and wedding date picked out, selecting a seasoned wedding planner to guide you in this process will make your journey go more smoothly and will be one of your most important vendors.

Stay Present on the Day You Worked Hard to Create

Presence is a powerful gift. It allows you to enjoy the celebration you designed with intention and to trust the people who are there to support you. It gives your guests the experience you envisioned and allows your photographer to capture expressions, details, and relationships in their truest form. The couples I photograph are often willing to let go on their wedding day and step fully into the moment. They laugh freely, show emotion, and embrace the unexpected. These qualities bring depth to their images and create a visual story that honors both the beauty and the reality of the day. This is just as true for San Francisco engagement photos as it is for full wedding days or intimate elopements across the Bay Area.

As You Begin This Wedding Planning Journey

If you are starting off making plans for your wedding, congratulations! I encourage you to take a moment and simply enjoy one another. Communicate and visualize the ideas that will ensure your wedding reflects the life you are building together and the stories that shaped you. When your decisions come from that place, the day feels grounded. The photographs do too! If you are a couple who values authenticity, connection, and a meaningful experience for your guests, I would love to learn more about your celebration! Inquire with Sonya about your wedding photography here. Questions? Here are some of my most frequently asked questions.